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IF there is any amusement in statistics then England's record at the Gabba is worth a chuckle.
Believe it or not, the Poms have lost more games in Brisbane than Australia.
That's a mighty achievement given they only catch the boat out here every four years or so.
Australia has played 55 Tests at the Gabba and lost only eight. England has played 19 and lost 10, a worse than 50 per cent record.
It gets better. Australia has won 33 matches at what has become known as fortress Gabba while England has claimed just four.
And the only post World War II victories were against virtual Australian second XIs, in 1978-79 during World Series Cricket and 1986-87 amid South African rebel tours.
So all things being equal, Australia should be raging hot favourites to stitch up the Poms on a typically bouncy deck.
Except things are rarely equal and they are certainly not at the moment.
It is little more than two months ago that Australia suffered a third successive Ashes defeat.
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Not since those dim, dark days in the mid '80s has Australia had such a forlorn run, failing to win nine Tests in a row.
The long term ramifications of the first Test are enormous on and off the field.
The new-found mantra of stability with selection, which has resulted in a rightly predictable first Test team, can only last with winning.
And Cricket Australia needs a victory desperately to put out the spot fires of chaos which are in danger of bursting into a raging bushfire.
Change is difficult and the Argus report has demanded sweeping reform following Australia's previous Ashes defeat at home three years ago.
But few have confidence in the man charged with implementing much of that change, Pat Howard, who holds the newly created position of high performance manager.
The former Wallaby has managed to upset or confuse many of the so called "stakeholders" he is meant to be working with, including players and state coaches and officials.
Perception is reality and CA gives the appearance of fraying at the edges.
How the governing body can so publicly fall out with cricket's biggest supporter, the ABC, is mind-boggling.
A slap around the head from recently retired legend Ricky Ponting via his book and subsequent straightforward interviews have not helped CA.
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Chief executive James Sutherland poured fuel on that spot fire when he played the man and not the ball at a press conference following CA's annual meeting last month.
He should have taken his angst out on Ponting, not those simply delivering Ponting's message.
Becoming frazzled in front of those who disseminate to the cricket world was neither reassuring nor edifying.
The capitulation and confusion surrounding England's current tour game, when a NSW second XI became an invitation XI at the insistence of the England Cricket Board, has only added to the perception of uncertainty.
Just two of the seven leading state players plucked from everywhere are involved, while South Australia's Callum Ferguson was a late inclusion.
Victory at the Gabba can set Australia on course to retain the Ashes.
Defeat doesn't bear thinking about.
GABBA TEST RESULTS
Australia: 55 Tests - 33 wins - 8 losses - 13 draws - 1 tie
England: 19 Tests - 4 wins - 10 losses - 5 draws
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PAIN OF DEFEAT
Michael Clarke has had enough of being beaten.
The Australian captain makes that clear in his just released book The Ashes Diary.
"Losing the series is devastating. I feel sick in the guts, to be honest,'' Clarke wrote after a promising run chase in the fourth Test at Durham fell apart and Australia went 3-0 down.
"The washout in Manchester hurt, but this is a feeling I couldn't prepare myself for.
"I had no idea it could feel this bad, and so personal."
Later Clarke continued: "I'm devastated and disappointed that we've let ourselves down with the bat again.
"If I want to face up to it, it's been happening for three or four years, about 10 times in that period."
BACKING UP
Along with the mental anguish Clarke has the constant physical demands of a degenerative back he has carried since a teenager.
The book offers a revealing snapshot of how much Clarke must endure simply to get on the ground.
His most constant companion is a MedX machine, either at his physio's rooms in Sydney or in London attempting to recover from flare-ups.
"I sit in position in the machine while it stretches me to full flexion and full extension. Every second I spent in there is strengthening me."
Clarke reveals that not only was his back sore, he needed a cortisone injection in a hip joint following the disastrous second Test at Lord's.
"It had better improve," Clarke wrote. "I can't feel my left quad so it's awkward walking around."
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