Perth should be Poms' best chance

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ENGLAND arrived as the Urinaters and will leave as the Capitulaters.

Now Australia is taking the piss.

If the bewildered Poms can't beat this second string Australian side being rolled out in Perth on Friday then the mercy rule should apply for the Australia Day clash in Adelaide on Sunday.

Australia should play Australia A for some decent competition because this is basically an Australia A side anyway.

Shane Watson was already resting from the team which beat England in Sydney last Sunday to claim the one-day series 3-0 after a 5-0 Ashes whitewash.

Joining Watson with their feet up are captain Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin and David Warner.

While Clarke and Watson will play the final match in Adelaide, where Australia is a chance to be searching for a 10-0 super-sweep, Warner and Haddin have been given the rest of the one-day series off.

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Such is the lack of experience in Australia's cobbled together team that Mitchell Johnson is vice-captain and will lead the side if George Bailey's hip problem does not heal itself in time.

How remarkable, Johnson could go from missing the Ashes tour to leading his country out in his adopted home town of Perth in little more than six months.

The butt of Barmy Army ditties on the 2009 Ashes tour has hammered England in body and mind and has no intention of easing up.

Winner of the Allan Border Medal on Monday night, Johnson says his side will be trying to secure a 5-0 clean sweep of the series.

"England have destroyed us in the past," Johnson said. "We've been asked if we feel sorry for them, and we've all said no because of that reason.

"Hopefully we can win this one-day series 5-0 as well, and send them home without a victory against us."

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There is even a chance of a 13-0 score line, with three Twenty20 matches to follow the one-dayers, which would be England's ultimate humiliation.

Almost all of Australia's leading players will be heading for South Africa for next month's three-Test series.

Most of the squad leaves next Wednesday, the same day as the first T20 match against England in Hobart.

Playing his first one-dayer in more than a year, Steve Smith is also talking 5-0 and claims Australia deserves the mantle of No.1 one-day team in the world.

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Australia will displace India from the No.1 spot a year out from the World Cup if the Indians do not win their current series against New Zealand, despite the Aussies losing the recent series in India 3-2.

"That's our aim as a team, to be No.1 in the world in all three forms and that would be ticking off one of those boxes," Smith said in Perth on Wednesday.

"If that happens hopefully we can carry on in the other two formats to keep improving.''

Smith was part of the unchanged Test XI that won the Ashes 5-0 and is now focused on extending that domination over England

"I think it would be nice. To win 5-0 would be amazing,'' Smith said.

"It would be great to end the series that way."

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